I've spent my entire life struggling with my weight. Sometimes I was skinny and sometimes I wasn't. When I look back, I think I probably gained a lot of weight around age 11 or 12. What a terrible age to gain weight. I was already in that awkward preteen stage and feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. Of course, my twin brother got the tall/thin genes! I remember being at my dad's work picnic. One of his coworkers looked at my brother and I and said, "If you take some of your weight (pointing to me) and put it on him (pointing to my brother), you guys would be perfect". Wow! What a terrible thing to say. So terrible that I've never forgotten it.
Once I got to high school, I lost a lot of the weight. Looking back, I know that I did it in an unhealthy way. I didn't have an eating disorder, but I certainly cut back on the amount that I was eating on a daily basis. I wasn't eating enough and it was unhealthy. I wasn't athletic at all and I just didn't know how to do it the correct way. My College days rolled around and I fluctuated back and forth during those years. Let's be honest... I wasn't counting calories during those weekly trips to the bar... didn't think twice about sitting around a pizza with my friends armed with a bottle of ranch dressing to dip it in....and working out really wasn't a top priority in my life at that time. By the time I graduated, I had terrible habits when it came to eating and exercise.
After graduation... bring on the desk job! Hours upon hours of sitting. I worked in an office where many of the people around me had terrible eating habits. Fast food was a staple. People would constantly bring in baked goods and set them on the break room table for everyone to enjoy. And guess what? I went right along with them. Gaining more and more weight as the weeks went on.
It's hard for someone to see that they are gaining weight... and it's even harder to admit even when your clothes no longer fit. I honestly couldn't even tell you how many times I've stood in front of my closet crying because nothing really fit and if it did fit, I felt terrible in it. I would then go shopping in an attempt to find something that I would feel comfortable wearing, but after several attempts at trying things on in the dressing room, I would leave empty-handed. Rush out of the store and cry the whole way home. It was a terrible cycle.
My college years were some of the best years of my life. I made some amazing friends. We spent countless hours together and I knew that they loved me for me. It was a sad day when we all graduated and went our separate ways. With that being said, we always made a point to try and get together 2 times a year. We would make plans and I would get really excited to see everyone. And then a week before our get-together, I would start having anxiety. I didn't want people to see that I had gained weight. I felt so insecure in my own skin. Eventually by the end of the week, I was coming up with excuses why I wouldn't be able to make it. I was so insecure and down that I was giving up spending time with some of my favorite people in the world!
I also found myself hiding when anyone brought their camera out for a group shot. I would immediately volunteer to be the person who took the picture just so I didn't have to be in it. One of my worst fears was looking back on my wedding photos and being completely disgusted and ashamed about the way that I looked in them. And that's when I decided to make a change!
I was initially approached by my friend/sorority sister Kayla about Beachbody and being a part of her challenge group. I turned her down the first time she asked me, telling her that it was too expensive... I was planning a wedding... blah, blah, blah. Looking back I knew they were all excuses. If I really wanted to make it happen, I would have found a way. She approached me for a second time a couple months later and I finally agreed. BEST DECISION EVER!!! I lost 30 pounds just in time for my wedding and I found a healthy lifestyle. I learned to lose weight the right way, by eating clean and exercising.
I've now taken the next step and I've become a Beachbody coach. I've never been surrounded by so many positive people who truly care about others. I'm still working on my weight loss journey, but I'm the healthiest I've ever been in my entire life. I'm starting to get my confidence back and I'm starting to learn that I can be happy with me!
This is why I post about Beachbody. Because I've been there. I've tried everything to lose weight. I know what it feels like to feel completely overwhelmed with my weight and not knowing what to do. I've cried and cried and cried over it. That's why I want to help others. It just takes that first leap of faith to start on your journey to a better you!
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